Father (Part 2)~~

This afternoon, my father texted me and asked me to call my cousin that I rarely know, so that I can ask him to give me a favor in job hunting. He scolded me (maybe...) that I just sat at home, doing nothing. I was speechless and a little frustrated and angry plus stress because until now, my father don't really understand my situation here and he just judged me like he always did...

I am grown up people, and I am always independant, I don't want to depend on other people, I don't like the feelings that forcing cousins do somethings that "might" bring them unconvenient. My cousin is working in electronic company, which is not related to my degree, and the company is in Bangkok, which at the place I don't really like (No offence)...I have my own plan but now, he just broke into my plan and make me to follow his plan because I am his son. He never asked me what I really want to...This is my future, not yours...

My plan is spending one month time to serve God before I start working, but my father is forcing me to find a job immediately...How is my plan, then? Screwed up, because I have to obey him...

Every single text he sent to me is a pressure to me...Is like a pushing button...I had done what I need to do, but now, all I can do is waiting for replies...However, my father doesn't understand this, he said I was sitting at home, doing NOTHING...What? Am I so untrustable for you? Please, let me plan my future with my Heavenly Father...

I understand my father is out of good intention, but it had become one kind of pressure for me, which I cannot avoid or ignore...My father had done the same things to me while I was doing my UK Visa...That time, he dint understand that the agency needed time to approve my Visa, and he kept on calling me, scolding me, saying that I dont really follow up the progress...This made me stress until I din't know how to pray...fortunately, I have my Heavenly Father to comfort me by using the mouth of preacher...Thanks God...

This post is just a way for me to release my frustration and my stress...Pray for me if you are christian...

简单？不简单？天真？不天真？

正如实力派歌手黄小琥的最新唱片《简单，不简单》，人性也是如此，看是简单、单纯的人，不一定是简单与单纯。外表看似大方，背后正在打着如意算盘，外表看似和蔼可亲，里面却是憎恶无比，真是金玉其外，败絮其中。当然，如果你知道“其中”，你会觉得“其外”也是败坏的。

在我的四年离乡背井，到外地读书的日子里，我想在此向那些教过我人心的“可爱”的人说声谢谢，因为你们教我如何看看这世界。我承认，我看似简单，但不简单，因我学会了“以其人之道，还至其人之身。”他们也教会我，人要自私，因别人会找你便宜。真心换来的是伤害，与其如此，倒不如不付出？

我也学会了戴面具，但为何教我戴的人，往往就不会戴面具呢？你说你想要做自己，但却教我戴面具，不是很矛盾吗？可能因为我是主见的人吧，什么东西都要别人跟我做的一样，我真是差劲，但你也不是十全十美的吧，但是你不曾承认过你的弱点，因你认为“他/她”比我们更加了解你。我相信"soulmate"，但不可能你的soulmate所说的，全都是对的嘛，也不能因为你的soulmate不喜欢，你也跟着不喜欢吧。我现在已不所谓了，你喜欢怎样就怎样吧。

PS：我没有别的意思，如有雷同，纯属个人感觉

Summer 2010 in Birmingham~~~

Nigth View

Day view...

I moved to a new place, called Londonderry House in Birmingham City Centre...Goodbye Glendower Road...

Londonderry House is a flat and I live in 12th floor. The room is big, has private toilet with shower, all bills are included, but the internet connection is extremely slow....Imagine you used to have 10MB internet speed and now downgrade to 512Kps speed....Not used to it...However, I think it is kind of training, train my patience and slow down my life's speed, which I think its quite good...The outside window view is nice, I can see the sky clearly and also the night view of Birmingham since I live 12th floor...Its been a week I live here, I had met my flatmates, who are Chinese (China) students...The first night, I met some situation, which the Chinese lives the room in front of my room, broke his door because he can't open the door plus he was drunk...I asked him yesterday, and he told me he din't know what happen to the door...(=.=''')...Anyway, I think he is a nice guy....Hopefully...

Bro.John is back to Birmingham after a year research in Taiwan, and now we go to Leicester church every Saturday...Finally I had my company again...Thanks God...The weather is nice but hot, although it is just around 27'C, compare to Malaysia, its nothing...However, I felt hot to the weather....Sweating now...

I plan to go to Euro but I had registered to go for YTTC (Youth Theological Training Course) in Sunderland...I am not sure whether I want to go or not, because perhaps I get my job replies during the training course...I have no idea with it, but just pray to God that He can give me a job before August...Anymore, its all depend on His will...(pray for me ya...)

Here is a sad news:

I received a phone call from my youngest brother saying that my Uncle's wife was past away last Monday, the first day I moved in this room. I was not shocked or sad, because I knew this day will come, for all of us, her day was just came earlier...Actually I was told she was suffered liver cancer (not sure) and it was 3rd stage of cancer, so I knew her day was coming soon...When I am writing this, at the same time, I am recalling back the memory we shared in my life...I am now a little bit sad, thinking that I can't see her anymore, but life still goes on...Commemorate her sometimes, will help me to remember her exist and her care to me....I believe that you had rested in peace, my dear AH KIM (uncle's wife in Hokkein)...I will pray for your family especially AH KU (uncle from mother's side) although you are not Christian, but I believe God will comfort him...This is my 3rd sad news in a month time...I have nothing to complain because life is just a brief of candle...

PS: Melancholy+ING.....