Confusion

Actually this blog I cannot write it first since my UK university offer letter hven come yet but I write this blog now because I wanna keep the feeling which I will face when I wanna to decide to go UK or stay at Malaysia.

Just now, I chatted with my friend and he told me that what will we do before I leave Nilai, go sing K, yamcha and etc. These things make me want to stay in Malaysia because there is a lot of things that make my heart to stay, a lot of memories and etc, which confuse my decision to go oversea. Haiz...If I stay, I can stay more longer with them and attending the church activities with my dear churchmates. Although in UK, I can also join their activities but in different situation and environment. A totally brand new life there, no bus can go bck home, just flight that can bring me home but cant go bck every semester break. This will confuse me to make decision.

I dont mean that I scare brand new life, but I just scare I cant suit the environment there, cold and the education is high level which I scare I cant follow up the syllabus. A lot of things that I have to consider before going there. Because of UK can give me good education, I choose to go there but......Haiz.....Only God will guide me.....Pray hard lor....

What do I really need? A good education or good friendship? Stay here, I can stay longer with my dear friends, go oversea, I can get good education...What to choose? Remember last time when I came to Nilai, I got this kind of feeling too, feeling desparate, lonely, but fortunately I got my brother's friend here so he intro his frens to me so that I wont be lonely here. Therefore, I think that God arrange all of it, so God will also arrange a better way for me to go...

Leadership Training Camp

Last weekend, I had attended a camp called leadership training camp as a counsellor at PJ church. This is my 1st time be a counsellor for my church so I was very tired after the camp. The theme for this camp is to train our junior youth of our church to be a good leader so that after they grow up, they can lead our church. This camp is just 3 days and 2 night camp, there is 43 students and 20 counsellor. You're not read wrongly, but is really 20 counsellors from 5 churches. Its too many counsellors there, is more than the counsellor for theolo.

During the camp, actually I learn a lot of things, such as being a counsellor is not very easy, you had to wake up earlier than the participants and help to prepare the food for them and etc. In this camp, I had also joined the activities that the organizer arranged to the participants and to guild them to have fun in these activities. They're junior so they are so active until I have no energy after joining them but they still have the energy to play around. In this camp, I had also learned that before doing somethings, I have to do preparation. I was asked to arrange the transportation to the tressure hunt for the participants but because of my mistake in communication, I had made a driver come to church in early morning without nothing. Haiz...I really very sorry about that.

During the camp, I learned some activities that really very meaningful for teenagers today, and also me. The objective for these activities are to train the participants to be patience, responsible, reliable, confidence and etc. For example, there is a tressure hunt for this camp, in this tressure, you can see how the patience of the participants and the co-operation of them. While the leaders, in this game, you may see their responsible and reliable for their teamates. At this time, I was very tired because I had been long time I dint exercise but had to walk around the park to find the clues for the game. Now my leg is muscle-paining....haiz....But its quite fun la....hehe....

However, I had hear my friend who is one of the counsellors and had experient doing counsellor told me that, this camp is the worst camp that he never joined because the objective for this camp is wrong already and the arrangement is also wrong. What is the real abojective for this camp? Is it to train to youth be a good leader in real world or in church? If it is in church, then the organizer should arrange more prayer session for the participants to pray for Holy Spirit, because the main requirement for being a leader in church is Holy Spirit, so the objective is wrong. While the counsellors are too many already until some counsellors joined this camp is just for fun and play or tackle girls only. Thinking of play, I think he was talking about me cause in this camp, I was playing around and not doing the work that a counsellor should do...I think....haha....

Overall, I think this camp is quite good but it still need improvement since it is the first time organised this camp. Such as rules and main objective should be clear. I shouldn't complain this camp since I was a newbie for being counsellor, but after listening to my friend, I realised that a counsellor is not that easy.