Confusion

Actually this blog I cannot write it first since my UK university offer letter hven come yet but I write this blog now because I wanna keep the feeling which I will face when I wanna to decide to go UK or stay at Malaysia.

Just now, I chatted with my friend and he told me that what will we do before I leave Nilai, go sing K, yamcha and etc. These things make me want to stay in Malaysia because there is a lot of things that make my heart to stay, a lot of memories and etc, which confuse my decision to go oversea. Haiz...If I stay, I can stay more longer with them and attending the church activities with my dear churchmates. Although in UK, I can also join their activities but in different situation and environment. A totally brand new life there, no bus can go bck home, just flight that can bring me home but cant go bck every semester break. This will confuse me to make decision.

I dont mean that I scare brand new life, but I just scare I cant suit the environment there, cold and the education is high level which I scare I cant follow up the syllabus. A lot of things that I have to consider before going there. Because of UK can give me good education, I choose to go there but......Haiz.....Only God will guide me.....Pray hard lor....

What do I really need? A good education or good friendship? Stay here, I can stay longer with my dear friends, go oversea, I can get good education...What to choose? Remember last time when I came to Nilai, I got this kind of feeling too, feeling desparate, lonely, but fortunately I got my brother's friend here so he intro his frens to me so that I wont be lonely here. Therefore, I think that God arrange all of it, so God will also arrange a better way for me to go...

Leadership Training Camp

Last weekend, I had attended a camp called leadership training camp as a counsellor at PJ church. This is my 1st time be a counsellor for my church so I was very tired after the camp. The theme for this camp is to train our junior youth of our church to be a good leader so that after they grow up, they can lead our church. This camp is just 3 days and 2 night camp, there is 43 students and 20 counsellor. You're not read wrongly, but is really 20 counsellors from 5 churches. Its too many counsellors there, is more than the counsellor for theolo.

During the camp, actually I learn a lot of things, such as being a counsellor is not very easy, you had to wake up earlier than the participants and help to prepare the food for them and etc. In this camp, I had also joined the activities that the organizer arranged to the participants and to guild them to have fun in these activities. They're junior so they are so active until I have no energy after joining them but they still have the energy to play around. In this camp, I had also learned that before doing somethings, I have to do preparation. I was asked to arrange the transportation to the tressure hunt for the participants but because of my mistake in communication, I had made a driver come to church in early morning without nothing. Haiz...I really very sorry about that.

During the camp, I learned some activities that really very meaningful for teenagers today, and also me. The objective for these activities are to train the participants to be patience, responsible, reliable, confidence and etc. For example, there is a tressure hunt for this camp, in this tressure, you can see how the patience of the participants and the co-operation of them. While the leaders, in this game, you may see their responsible and reliable for their teamates. At this time, I was very tired because I had been long time I dint exercise but had to walk around the park to find the clues for the game. Now my leg is muscle-paining....haiz....But its quite fun la....hehe....

However, I had hear my friend who is one of the counsellors and had experient doing counsellor told me that, this camp is the worst camp that he never joined because the objective for this camp is wrong already and the arrangement is also wrong. What is the real abojective for this camp? Is it to train to youth be a good leader in real world or in church? If it is in church, then the organizer should arrange more prayer session for the participants to pray for Holy Spirit, because the main requirement for being a leader in church is Holy Spirit, so the objective is wrong. While the counsellors are too many already until some counsellors joined this camp is just for fun and play or tackle girls only. Thinking of play, I think he was talking about me cause in this camp, I was playing around and not doing the work that a counsellor should do...I think....haha....

Overall, I think this camp is quite good but it still need improvement since it is the first time organised this camp. Such as rules and main objective should be clear. I shouldn't complain this camp since I was a newbie for being counsellor, but after listening to my friend, I realised that a counsellor is not that easy.

从来没有用华语来写部落格，今天就用华语来告诉你们我如今的心声吧。。。最近，四川的大地震、缅甸的大暴风、加上中国之前的雪灾和西藏的暴乱，令到世界的和平亮了红灯，难道这就是世界末日的征兆吗？以前，我们马来西亚的人民说：“马来西亚是一个和平、平安的国家，不会有天灾、地灾或人祸等等。”但是，无可否认，在前几年的年尾，马来西亚沿海地带都被海啸而侵列，虽然我国的死亡人数不比其他国家，如：苏门答腊、巴里岛...但这海啸是我国有史以来就大的天灾，也是我国人民认为不可能发生的天灾。所以，我们现在活在一个不平安的世界里，因此，我们应该互相帮助，捐出我们的爱心来帮助那些灾民吧，正如如果灾难发生在我们的身上时，我相信他们也会帮我们的。

前两个星期，我班上的一位来自缅甸的同学，在我们正在上课的时候，拿着一个箱子来到我们的班上向我们要捐款，因为那时缅甸遇到大风灾，没想到只过了一个星期，四川省的人民受到7.8级地震的折磨，直到现在，那些灾民还在折磨当中，令人担心不已。所谓：“患难见真情”，在这个灾难中，我们可以看到母爱的伟大，报章有报道说有位妈妈为了让她的孩子活下去，到死了还在哺乳她的婴孩。我看了这报章，我真的感动不已。也有一位老师，为了保护他的学生，用自己的身体来阻挡倒塌的建筑物压到学生，这也让我感动。所以啊，既然有人为了救人而牺牲了自己的生命，也在所不辞，那么为何我们不能捐出我们的少许来帮助他们那些还活着的呢。。。

听到报导说现在活着的难民也正在受苦中，因为那里没水、没食物可喝、可食，所以为了生存，有些甚至喝尿和吃餐巾纸维生，如果换是我，我也会这样做。现在，我们能做的，就是为他们祷告和捐款，或是捐出你们的爱心和力量，到灾区帮助这些无助的人民。在教会，执事倒在鼓励我们信徒捐款给那些难民，也鼓励我们要为他们祷告，求神帮助他们，所以就让我们捐出我们的爱心吧。。。

Recently, I was addicted to an online game so I always sleep at late of the night, however, I still manage to study and attending classes including morning classes...I was addicted until I have no time to concentrate in my final project and my life. Everytime when I was free or feel bored, I will start playing this online game. Last time, I always advise my friends who like to play online game to leave the computer, dont addict to this kind of online games but now, I was the one who addict to it...Its very funny right? How the creator of online game can manage to attract or let the gamer been "addicted" to it? I, as a player of it, also dunno why? But its really fun la...haha...

For me, this kind of games such as, leveling or some kind of RPG games, I wont play so long 1 because I am an impatience guy who lazy to leveling my character until the end, every1 level high but just me, level low, so I will give up this game...thats me....Haha...Dunno this attitude is good or not...Perhaps good in something,bad in something...Impatience is the worst thing in my attitude, wanted to change but still the same. Anyway, thats me...I can only say that to comfort myself...haha....

Recently, I also kept on searching about UK and Australia universities and I think it is the time to prepare a proposal to my dad who is my financial supplier. Just now, I already asked my senior who study at UK now about the life there and the burget at there...The currency of UK now are dropped so go to UK or Australia are the same...No different..

Meanwhile, I also busy with choir practice every weekend at my church so after service, I will attend the Youth Class and choir practising. Therefore, until the practice finish only I go bck to Nilai. Previous semester, when I came here, I actually have interest in choir practise but because of no people accompany me to go back to Nilai, so I just follow the other go back after the church service. Choir Practice increasing myy faith toward my God and the lyrics are meaningful to me so I start loving choir practising.

Blog is like a short diary where you can write your life and your feeling at blog. So I just write what I am feeling now so it will be quite messy with the arrangement of my sentences. Starting from 2nd semester, I have a nickname who given by a Indian guy at my class, this nickname is "SpongeBob". I dunno what he gave this nickname to me, perhaps because of I am softing and that day, I wore a yellow T-shirt that make him feel I am "spongebob". Start from that day, only he calling me this name, but until last 2 semester, he called me at class and let the lecturer hear it, so the lecturer start calling this nickname whenever he meet me, and so do some students at the class....Should I be happy with it? (-.-''') Therefore, if you have my friendster address, you will see 2 spongebob at my comment place, that is my fren post it there...Anyway, I dun mind it cause nickname is quite good because with this nickname, people will remember you for a long time, but if the nickname is very mean to it, stop calling the nickname, ok? Think about the feeling of the person you are calling.

Last night, while I wanna sleep, I dunno why I am keeping on thinking the word of "friendship". Everyone has friends, no wonder it is human or pet or a thing, friend is some kind of 'thing" that will make you happy or comfort. For me, the defination of friendship is those who understand you and will make you comfort and happy, and also believe each other...You would like to sacrify your time to give advices or help your friends and sometimes, share your problems to them...For me, every closed friends, I also can share my things to them...I don care what it is about...

Making a friend have to sure that you are using your heart, truly heart, not just for some kind of benefits then only we make friends...That's wrong, it can hurt your friends who truely want to become your friends. Its like other form of "betraying"...I met 1 of this kind of friend, but perhaps I was misunderstand him, however, since he or she don give me an explanation although I gave him many chances, this make me think that he or she is not appreciate me...So watever...Make friends because of some benefits, thats truly A**hole....haha....

I had also met 1 kind of friends, thats because they scare to "give out"( 付出）, so they scare to receive（接受) ...Friends give something to you mean that they want to share their things to you and they are really want to give out without repay back...Its true you know...But some will misunderstand me, thinking that I am so stingy and think that I want them to repay back to me...But I am not like that, I just wanna them to appreciate what I give out and remember me while I leave them...Thats all...Why people want to think this kind of way ler? yes, I admit that I sometimes, very stingy but that time I was out of burget, so I need to save money and very "annoy"...Haiz...Because they don understand me, so they misunderstood me...I told them before but still they wont remember and they are not trying to understand me either....While for me, I will keep on asking questions to my friends so that I can know more about them, but they think that I am annoying...Perhaps is my communication got problems kot...haha....Sorry lor....Paiseh....

Today, my lecturer told me in university, there is 2 type of lecturer, first one is those lecturers that very open-minded who can accept your complain and your critic with a humble heart. This kind of lecturers are good and if you meet this kind of lecturer, you will learn many things and you will become more interest at what they are teaching you. Another type is lecturers that cant accept your complain or critic, if you are not satisfying them or fight with them, your exam result will very dangerous...this type I called it as "small gas" lecturer, but if you want to get a good result, you can go find him and saying something nice to them like that lor....Pai ma pi...hehe.....

But for me, there is 1 more type of lecturers that are very dangerous, that is those who pretending to be open-minded, asking your opinion or critics, but actually, they are not...They are actually belong to type B, small gas lecturers...I met one lecturer is like that, I told him the truth about the lecturers for our college, but after that, my result for their subjects, are not very high....although I put a lot of afford on it...still the same...dunno why this kind of people living at this world...haiz...suan ler ba...let it be...hehe....

Thats all I write for today, I will continue to write my blog eventhough a few people come and really read my blog...I am here would like to thank to those who read my blog and give comments to me...I will appreciate what you all comment to me...thank...

After I saw my friend's photo which they post at friendster or facebook, it make me feel jealous about my friends who study at oversea and I hope I can go the place they are now studying or staying. Like one of my friend is now staying at Canada and she took a lot of photos which record her life at Cananda...Wow, it's owesome....snow, beautiful park, old building or historical building which are gorgeous and etc....After I saw this kind of pictures, I really wanted to go to Canada for studying or living there (this is impossible), because in Malaysia, I think you cant find out a beautiful park or historical building that are gorgeous and especially you are impossible to see snow droping from the sky, perhaps in the future I can see it since our weather now is changing....because of our ozone layers are getting thinner....So love the nature guys....haha...

Actually I got the chance to go oversea study since my father told me that he want to send me to oversea study, but the problems are I am now confusing about should I change my course to chemical engineering or continue to take mechanical engineering for my degree after I graduate my diploma in mechanical....The fact I confuse is if I do my degree in chemical, I have to spend 3 years for my degree, meanwhile, if I do my degree in mechanical, I have only to spend 2 years to complete it....But I more like chemical engineering than mechanical....Sommore the university which can let me study chemical engineering are quite a few and most of these university are not closed my church, True Jesus Church....So I really donno how to choose....Let my God to decide....

For me, as I told you previous blog, I like to go UK than Australia, but now, I dont care already since anywhere are the same...2 years at Uk cost about 200k, it's also same at australia...So its not the big deal....haha....So its just depend on my father lor, since the money is from him not from myself...haha....

its been a few weeks I dint update my blog, but eventhough I update, I think few people will come and read my blog. However, I still continue writing blog since its a good thing or good way to kill my leisure time...

I'm just came back to Nilai from my hometown last saturday by car, Proton Iswara Aeroback, since I had 2 weeks holidays...Its a old car already but as it can move, I already appreciate liao lor....In this 2 weeks holidays, most of the time I just stay at home la, only i will go out yam cha when my friends ask me go...Meanwhile, I also used 1 day of my holidays spending at clubbing...This is my 1st time go the clubbing, my friends ask me to go there since I never go clubbing be4...In the clubbing house (the name is Mois), there was crowded you know, wanna find a table to put our alcohol also cannot, after a few minutes, we only can use a little space corner to put our things. As my friends told me before, the music was aloud until my heart was follow the tempo of the music...Inside there, my friends started dance liao la, then only I start dance....Haha....Cant imagine how I dance ler....I also dunno how I dance pun....hehe....After I drank some alcohol, I dance more "open" and my body is totally follow the music and I cant control it...Dance, dance, dance....until 3am in the morning, the clubbing house wanna closed liao so we came out la...But 1 of my friends, girl 1 wor, was totally drunk until unconsciously...Only I can tell you her "taufu" was eaten by a guy from 1 of us....Not me har....Another guy who go in the clubbing house with us....I cant do anything with him since....haiz....whatever la...

After I brought her back to my friends apartment with my other friends, she is starting shout "Ah~~~~Ah~~~~~Ah~~~~" sound....Walao, people hear it also 'beh syok"....But I dun care since I got a little bite drunk liao so....I slept....Until next morning, I drave my car back to my house lor....Here I wanna tell you especially girls, if you wanna go to clubbing, can, but dun drink until drunk...Its very dangerous...Or if you wanna drunk, can, go with the friends that you are trusted the most, if can, girls friends....

The day before I come back to Nilai, I attend my friend's grandpa' funeral...But when I saw my friend, she is smiling at me and all my friends are gathered there and just like we are having gathering there...Its this good??

Whatever la...this is about my holiday la...Quite boring ler....Nothing much happen at my hometown la...